May
20
Grief can feel like climbing a mountain. The experience can be rigorous and challenging.
When I lived in Colorado, I did a lot of hiking with my dog. Hiking in Colorado can be extremely challenging because of the high altitude.
Sometimes the only way to make it to the top is to slow down and really pay attention to your body.
SOMETIMES YOU MUST PERSEVERE WITH PATIENCE.
The challenge of the grieving process can often seem overwhelming. It can seem pointless and meaningless and painful.
You may feel apprehensive, wondering if you are really getting anywhere. You may perhaps be wondering if it is worth the effort.
Grief is often about taking one step at a time. Sometimes the challenge can seem overwhelming. Sometimes you may need to slow down and rest.
Just Breathe. Feel the beating of your aching heart. Breathe in. Breathe out.
This moment is all there is.
One step at a time.
May
11
The Flower Garden
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I have a small flower garden filled with perennials just outside my front door. Red, white, purple and pink are the predominant colors.
I learn about myself as I view this beautiful garden.
Sometimes I walk by and see only the various color spots within the garden. If I tune into my thoughts I often realize I have been thinking in more narrow, focused ways.
Sometimes I walk by and see only the weeds I need to pull. You guessed it; I’m usually having some critical or negative thoughts.
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May
2
Grief and Forgiveness
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Forgiveness plays a big role in your move beyond grief. We tend to think that forgiveness is about condoning a wrong. That’s not what I am saying. That just does not feel right.
Sometimes grief becomes entangled with guilt. There can be guilt about things said to the deceased person that we wish we had not said. There can also be guilt for the things we did not say.
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Apr
28
Betrayal and Grief
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Betrayal-loss-violation
Anger-white-hot
A human torch
Ashes everywhere
Nothing-but ashes
S.C.
Two years or so after my husband’s death I got involved in a very unhealthy relationship. Everyone around me could see this but me. My grief and loneliness had clouded my judgment. I was numb and yet desperately wanting to feel whole again.
Apr
26
I am Fine Inside
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Today was very windy. In fact, the wind was so strong that I actually felt myself pushed from behind and sideways during my walk.
At first I was a bit annoyed. It was difficult to enjoy the walk with the cold wind stinging my face and that same wind throwing me off balance.
Apr
18
Grief is a Journey
Filed Under GRIEF AND THE PRESENT MOMENT | 1 Comment
Sometimes life seems to become a giant “to do” list. It’s just about getting done and checking things off the list. We forget about the journey and focus solely on the end result. Then we experience frustration or annoyance over any delays in reaching the projected end result.
The same thing can happen when we are grieving. Life can become about making it to the end of the day. Life can become about getting back home, pulling the blinds and curling up on the couch.
The goal of life can become hiding from life. There is no awareness of the process. There is no living in the moment. There is impatience and frustration and resignation.
Apr
16
Grief and Anniversaries
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My wedding anniversary is June 3. The first couple of anniversaries after my husband’s death were extremely difficult. There seemed no helpful way to get through this day. I would even start feeling sad and uncomfortable several days prior.
During the fifth year, my old dog began having health problems. She was 13. She looked really good for her age, but I had to acknowledge that 13 was on the older end of the life spectrum for Black Labs.
Apr
14
Boxes of Cards
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After my husband’s death I found several shoeboxes filled with greeting cards. I knew I had saved my cards from him, but I hadn’t realized he had saved all of the cards I had given to him.
I began reading the cards from our twenty-one years together. Tears of joy and remembrance and sadness dripped down my face. I was experiencing anew the unfolding of our relationship through the messages of these greeting cards.
Apr
11
A Different View
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Today I took a walk with my dog. The parking area was crowded, so I decided to start my walk from a different location.
I was amazed at how different the walk became. It was basically the same walk in reverse. But the sun sparkled in a different way on the sea. The flowers seemed to glow with more brilliance. Even the houses on the other side of the street were somehow more architecturally interesting.
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Apr
9
A Lesson from the Butterfly
Filed Under GRIEF AND POSSIBILITIES | 1 Comment
I want to share a quote from Maya Angelou:
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly,
but rarely admit the changes it has gone
through to achieve that beauty.”
For me, this quote speaks volumes about the process of grief. Emerging from the cocoon is not an easy task. The caterpillar, in essence, dissolves within the cocoon. As the butterfly grows toward maturity, it realizes that it will die if it does not take action to leave the protection of the cocoon.
